Opened my being and took a peek
Remembering that softness is the new tough
I surrender to this softness
I bask in the blessings of my love
I like what I see I enjoy who I am
Feeling gratitude to see my faults
To shift what needs shifting
At times it seems like I’m moving the titanic but check it out with each shift that ship will finally reach it’s proper port
I am breathing
I am awake
I am here to help
I am love.
I love you. ❤️ #losangeles#service#love#6thstreet#hairstylist#barber#addiction#heretohelp photo cred. @adamtrunell
👉🏼Limerence is very much a mind game. This is where OCD characteristics come into play. In a limerent individual’s (LI) mind, they are constantly thinking about emotional reciprocation from their LO. They have involuntary and intrusive thoughts about their LO, making it difficult to focus or concentrate on other things.
🔸A characteristic of OCD is obsessive, instrusive thoughts about something that leads to a compulsion to ease the anxiety brought on by the obsessive thoughts. For example, someone who is struggling with OCD may have the obsessive thought that if they don’t wash their hands 10 times every 2 hours they will develop a deadly disease. Therefore, they are compelled to wash their hands. They are constantly back and forth in their head, thinking about the “what if’s” of the situation.
👉🏼Similar to OCD, LI’s are constantly thinking about how to obtain emotional reciprocation from their LO’s. They are constantly in their heads – “what if I don’t see her today? Will she remember me? I must go this route to work to see her. What if I don’t talk to him today, will he forget about me? What did that smile mean? I saw that glimpse of her eye…does she feel the same way I feel?” Thoughts like these compel the LI to gain emotional reciprocation to validate the constant questioning, doubt, and rumination they experience.
👉🏼👉🏼🔸What is YOUR opinion about limerence being a mind game? What are some other ways limerence is related to OCD?
0 15 minutes ago
Lui non fu mai incendio, per me. Fu avvicinamento lento, come un annusarsi da lontano. Un interrogarsi continuo. Una sfida, capire. Perchè con lui non era mai sogno da togliere il respiro o romanticismo liofilizzato, ma solido calcolo- veicolato nelle forme, nei tessuti ruvidi del pragmatismo- in cui tutto era misurato, anche l’ostentazione: mera concessione alla nostra vanità. Non fu mai solo amore con lui, ma anche repulsione, talvolta incomprensione. Con lui erano domande. E matematica precisione. Cultura mai drammatizzata e ricerca. Razionalizzazione dell’onirico. Perchè in fondo la moda non è che un sogno venduto a caro prezzo, che attinge al bacino dei nostri desideri e ci culla nell’illusione di poter diventare ció che vogliamo all’interno di quei pochi centimetri di stoffa. Una droga potentissima che ci acceca e ci rimanda il riflesso dei nostri stessi sogni. •
•He was never a fire for me. It was a slow dance, like sniffing from afar. A continuous questioning. A challenge, understand. Because with him it was never a dream that take your breath away or freeze-dried romanticism, but a solid calculation - conveyed in the forms, in the rough fabrics of pragmatism - in which everything was measured, even ostentation: a mere concession to our vanity. It was never only love with him, but also repulsion, sometimes misunderstanding. With him were questions. And math precision. Culture never dramatized and research. Rationalization of the dreamlike. Because after all, fashion is only a dream sold at a high price, which draws on the basin of our desires and lulls us into the illusion of being able to become what we want within those few centimeters of fabric. A powerful drug that blinds us and sends us back the reflection of our own dreams.• •
Why do you keep drinking and making yourself feel like shit?
Why do you keep using drugs?
Why do you constantly need to let loose with drugs and alcohol?
Why are you so unhappy all the time.
A lot of people will say you have to ask these questions and find out the root cause of your pain.
I agree these are great questions...
BUT they keep you in the past.
And makes is almost impossible to be happy in the present while thinking about your future.
There’s not enough focus on why we want to be clean or why we want to change our lives.
This is very powerful.
You can take this really deep.
When you don’t really know why you want to change it’s much harder to stay motivated and focused.
Having a clear picture of why, allows you to make a clear plan to bridge the gap from where you are to where you want to be.
In step one of my process l take you deep inside yourself and ask questions that force you to really look at why you really want a new life free from drugs and alcohol.
You may not know right now and that’s fine.
Start thinking about it.
Start with why, end with freedom.
Today's word "𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗘-𝗕𝗥𝗔𝗜𝗡" Watch Now as Dr. Bob discusses "𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗘-𝗕𝗥𝗔𝗜𝗡" in 60 seconds or less.
𝗔𝗹𝘀𝗼, 𝗗𝗿. 𝗕𝗼𝗯 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲 𝗟𝗜𝗩𝗘 𝗼𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗩𝗶𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗷𝗲𝗰𝘁'𝘀 𝗙𝗮𝗰𝗲𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝗽𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗗𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘆... 𝗝𝗼𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗶𝗺😁
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Photo 1 is me last month the 2nd is the night of my last drink 8/5/17 also my sober date. Not promoting sobriety nor criticizing drinking just sharing a bit more of my truth.
I’m reflecting as my biz grows what my “why” is. I had no skill connecting w/ people - esp men - w/out a drink. It was a tortured way to live bc in reality, connection & intimacy were things I deeply craved. This night was my last, I woke up having done all the same things on repeat, went out w/friends, got very drunk, took someone home, too drunk to have sex, woke up wanted nothing to do w/ them, & was not any closer to the real connection I wanted when sober again. Playing the tape forward I knew something needed to change. I remember thinking how can my life seem so perfect otherwise? I had everything I wanted (💵, a successful career, nice things). I had so much shame that I could get everything else right but be a ‘complete failure’ here. My friends had partners & no problems w/ men, why couldn’t I figure it out, what was wrong with me? 🤦🏻♀️
Learning tools, skills, getting honest reflection from teachers, coaches I was able to stop running from myself. I was willing 1st to see myself & then slowly let others see me.
Am I still uncomfortable & awkward connecting w/ people, connecting w/ men? Absolutely. I don’t get in my head about it anymore, judge, or criticize myself. I learned mindfulness tools that help me stay present to stop spinning out in my unkind thoughts. I am a more open, honest, & pleasant person available for connection & my relationships are a lot of fun. The discomfort of who I am no longer causes me to grab for a drink.
I meet so many women who either completely avoid dating, deeply resent it, or admit they don’t have the level of connection & intimacy they want. They’re often intelligent & successful. I really get it. Alone it can seem daunting, lonely, frustrating, setting yourself up for disappointment & a waste of time. If what you’re doing isn’t working, you won’t have a diff experience operating from the mindset you’re currently at. The only way to get *different* results is to take different actions & make different choices. Let’s chat. Xo Molly
2 926 minutes ago
Never forget your past!
Take a look into my life before recovery. Today, I do not look like what I've been through. I was able to brighten Ollie's day and leave him smiling. You don't want to miss this, check out the whole video on our YouTube channel Two plus Us. The link will be in my bio. Don't forget to like, comment, share and subscribe 😁
If making others happy was what you learned to do so that you could get love & feel safe as a child, it’s no wonder you’re still doing it. Its okay. Whatever is learned can be unlearned.
When i started healing my pleasing habit, i had an intense fear i was gonna turn into (or be seen as) a raging bitch. As if there are only two extremes. Please everyone or people hate you.
There’s so much grey and middle ground to play with, explore, find your way around. You get to experiment and find what works for you. You get to lead yourself and do what’s best for you - and furthermore, trust that you are safe to do so.
What ive learned is how to be truly loving (people-pleasing is not love, it’s fear) and love myself at the same time. It’s major.
Codependent conditioning starts in childhood, and that’s why i go back to early wounds with my clients. This is not to be a prisoner to your past- quite the opposite - it’s to be free of it, to make peace with it so that it no longer controls you or your subconscious. And it’s not all about your parents. Many people i work with have trauma from peers in school and around belonging. Or God trauma because of religious fear-based teachings. Whatever your specific experience, there is a way out. There is a road to healing.
I loved doing the Codependent Breakthrough Sessions today and am opening more spots for next week. They are 1 hr. for $144. Drop a fire 🔥 if you are ready to break/burn through some codependent ish, or simply sign up at link in bio. Freedom is on the other side.
Sadly, alcohol related deaths are on the rise - and quickly on the rise is alcohol-related cirrhosis. Alcohol addiction can affect anyone from any walk of life. Don't wait any longer: if you or a Loved One struggles with addiction and are ready to get help now, contact us today. #addiction#alcoholaddiction#alcoholic#recovery#nebraska#iowa To read this article in full as reported by Des Moines Register: Facebook.com/igotsober/
What a difference a few days make in the land of Virginia weather... Holy cow... Yesterday if it wasn't my off day I easily could have been in shorts and a tank top, but today it was full winter gear and tomorrow the possibility of snow! LOL But I don't let it slow me down much. Today was difficult more mentally obviously because when I got home and looked at my stats and saw that I ran faster than Monday I kinda lost my mind... LOL When I saw that I remembered this saying in recovery... "You are often doing better than you are feeling"... The parallels of that are so evident in my life today... And this run was a good reminder of that!
Do something today to better yourself tomorrow. That could be anything from taking 5 minutes to meditate to improving your fitness on your road to recovery.
If you've been thinking about seeking help, Sage is here for you.
Come as you are. Your future self will thank you.
"We don't talk about things like THAT"
"Get over it"
"Stop being so emotional"
"You're making a big deal out of nothing" ...and other family messages like this may convey to a child:
-there's no room for your feelings (so don't have any)
-we don't discuss sensitive issues (so don't try)
-talking about your problems is unacceptable (so don't do it)
-your emotions are too much for me (and so are you)
If we're raised with messages like this, we may start doubting our emotional responses and even shame ourselves for having a response in the first place. This can lead to a wobbly sense of self and insecurity, possibly even a pattern of avoiding intimacy in adulthood (even if subconsciously, as with love addiction/love avoidance).
How do we overcome this? Therapy is of course very helpful, but another step is this journaling/processing exercise: make a list of negative childhood messages, writing out how these messages influenced you in childhood and how they continue to affect you today; then, writing a new narrative about each message. An example might be:
What happened: When I was little and upset/crying, my mother always told me to get over it.
The message: I was a burden/unlovable if I showed emotion.
Feeling/emotion attached to the message: Shame
How this has affected/influenced me: I avoid asking for help and hide my feelings.
New narrative: It's ok/healthy to ask for help.
Goal: I will ask for help/connect with someone at least once this week
(☝🏼That's a simplified example due to the small space but hopefully it provides a little direction to get started).
Recommended reading: "The Dance of Intimacy" by Harriet Lerner.
21 33312 hours ago
Brochas🥳💓 Levante la mano ¿quién tiene brochitis aguda?
Ой ну это точно про нас с вами 😂😂😂 Посудомойкой я конечно не пользовался, но детали от ВАЗ 2101 и от Vespa в ванне 🧽 мыл и замачивал! С копейкой мама чуть из дома не выгнала, а вот с Веспой я чуть не выгнал жену (за противоборство) 😆
Sobriety comes in all different shapes and sizes! 🦋 Just because I stopped drinking alcohol because I had a problem with it, doesn’t mean that EVERYONE who doesn’t drink has a problem. 👉🏻 Lots of people get sober for their health. Maybe they hate the taste. Maybe they choose not to drink to support their sober partner. Maybe they are on a spiritual journey. The reasons and paths to sobriety are ENDLESS! Let’s break the stigma together ❤️