i am always the odd one out, the one without a partner, without someone to hold my hand.
don’t get me wrong, my family loves me, and the true friends i do have, they would do anything for me, and i love them with every part of me,
but other than them i don’t really have anyone.
and even then, the one i’m closest with seems to hold me at arms length now.
i was never the girl with a lot of friends, my shy nature has made it hard for me to connect with people.
i enjoy being alone,
but most of my friends have left me, gone on to bigger things, and i can’t blame them.
i want them to succeed, and i don’t want to hold anyone back.
i like being by myself,
but it gets hard when you feel like you don’t have anyone who you are most important to.
it’s hard when you don’t fit in. it’s hard when you’re different.
when you’re alone so much that you don’t notice people slowly stepping out of your life.
i need my alone time,
but when alone time is the only time you have, wasting away in bed seems more and more appealing by the minute.
i know i’m loved. and i know people care about me.
but just once it would be nice to feel wanted.
to feel needed.
Bukan karena Christmas sudah dekat , tapi setiap saat berikan lah senyuman , cinta dan perhatian bahkan waktu pada setiap orang, bahkan mereka yang membenci mu sekalipun, karena di balik itu semua banyak orang 2 yang sebenarnya memerlukan perhatian, karena mereka sedang susah, sakit, bahkan kesepian . #care#love#time#lonely#sick#people#word#wordsofwisdom#smile#joy
Never let your
Best friend get #Lonely ... keep
0 3414 hours ago
☆ Love being Lonely ☆
For some reason I low key want to be alone. I get angry and sad easily along the lines of people. Never truly connected with another person. I want to cut everyone from my life because I feel like I’m not worthy of them. I only I was just the best person in the world, then maybe they we would perfectly click. But for now I just want to be alone with the world.
Motherhood is the absolute hardest task I’ve ever had to face. .
Guys. I’m a freaking boss. I hustle and work hard and accomplish goals and MAKE. THINGS. HAPPEN. in my businesses. I love working and seeing business growth and empowering my team and leading people towards freedom. I love all of that. It’s hard work but I sense my success all the time and I’m dang proud of it.
But the one area that I constantly feel that I fall short in and fail is...motherhood. .
I know, I know... “its just a season”, “but you’re such a good mom”, “you’ll miss this one day”... I get it. .
But dang. It’s hard. It’s so hard. The tantrums, the fights, the kicking, the screaming, the deliberate disobedience, the messes, the chaos, the “walking into the living room to find a dozen freshly hard boiled eggs half eaten and the rest broken on your couch and rug”, the marker on the walls and the poop stains on the toilet, the refusal to play with their built in best friend, the refusal to eat anything but crackers and chewy bars, the breaking things, the figuring out the balance of too much screen time vs. finding my own sanity.... do I need to keep going. .
Oh wait, add on social media reminding me that everyone else is perfect and I’m failing. Thanks insecurity and guilt. It’s nice to see you again. .
This motherhood gig is the hardest thing ever. Maybe it’s not for you, but it is for me. And today is so freaking hard.