Boundaries in relationships 🙅🏼♀️🙅🏻♂️ .
.... a way to separate or control
.... a request to do something that will make you happy 😃 .
You are NOT ready to set a boundary if:
.... you aren’t feeling loving 😤
.... you want to control someone’s behavior .
.... you’re feeling blaming, negative 👎🏼, frustrated 😡 or trying to eliminate someone from your life ☠️
So what ARE boundaries, then?
.... they come from love ❤️ .
.... they are a violation of personal or physical space
.... they are personal to you & other people may not agree .... you MUST follow through 100%
.... the other person doesn’t have to like it or agree
.... you can chose to verbalize your boundary🗣, or just respond without saying anything 😷
Not setting boundaries creates a relationship based on lies, pretense and resentment .
True Boundaries create a genuinely, intimate relationship .
Every couple goes through periods of questioning and doubting the relationship. But if these feelings are persisting you need to do a deep dive to explore why. Is it really that your partner isn’t the right person for you? Or is the hard truth that the relationship is pushing you to grow in a way that your resisting. The grass can easily look greener, but wherever you go, there you are.
3 274 hours ago
Facebook Peeps!! SHARE SHARE SHARE, #ASKFORCANDY : A bunch of powerhouse women (and a few brave dudes) get together online to talk about love, sex, relationships, and what it takes to be amazing on the daily.
Tomorrow night's show...Is there really a time and place for EVERYTHING?
Even though the Lizzo thong scandal was a week ago (ancient history in the new millennium). We’re going to talk about why, on social media, it was as controversial as the blue dress/gold dress debate of olden times. 😆😆😆 Join me and Nikki Brown aka The Coochie Coach while we break down the different aspects of the debate and more importantly, create a discourse past the conflict and outrage.
A discourse, NOT a debate. With listening, everybody can win.
Join us to collaborate on answers to some of the following questions.
Were people having a moral issue or an aesthetic issue?
Do bare adult asses hurt children and who's responsible for it?
Is there truly a time and place for EVERYTHING (including shame)?
Who sets the bar on class and appropriateness?
8:00pm Eastern, Right Here. Can't wait to see you. Come be in the convo online. #thrivemode
We have a Patreon Page now!! Become a patron for as little as $1 a month.
Join us live online at 8:00pm #ASKFORCANDY the PODCAST. Rock your singlehood, love your relationships, have a sweet LOVE LIFE, no matter what!! Email us right away with questions, comments, or thoughts and we can talk about them on the air. firstname.lastname@example.org “Dating & Relationships may be hard, but Love is ALWAYS easy.” JOIN THE CONVO! (EVERY MONDAY NIGHT FROM 8-9pm)
0 24 hours ago
Pay attention to the people in your life who take and never give.
3 1584 hours ago
Imagine for a moment…
You + me:
Together, we can see if there are any self-sabotaging patterns or other unhealthy habits that are keeping you attracting one-date wonders and non-committal partners or staying out of dating altogether. I can help you shift those patterns.
I often hear things like "there are no good men out there", "it's impossible to find a quality partner at my age," "I intimidate people because of my success," "they only want one thing," “I’m 38 and I still really want kids” and so on... Sometimes I feel frustrated because I know that if you hold onto these thoughts, it's pretty hard to find the love you want. But I also know what often is beneath the lies you tell yourself... Rejection and not feeling loved hurts.
It's easier to put your love life on the back burner (again) and dive back into your career. You know how to succeed there.
Because when you've felt rejected, dishonored, judged, or brokenhearted, it can be terrifying to put yourself out there again. As a result, you can create (subconscious) stories that keep you "safe" from love, so you never have to risk rejection again.
Instead of doing the deep dive into your heart, and truly doing the work to heal and prepare for epic love, you distract yourself and try to cope. A cute new pair of shoes, a new haircut, or a bottle of wine.
Those might make you feel better for a moment, but none of that is going to change your life.
BTW - if you do any of these things, it's not your fault! That's how society teaches you to "deal" with your pain. Just watch any rom-com. (Except Eat, Pray, Love – she did it differently.) That’s why I want to let you know I have 1:1 coaching spots open for 2020. If you’re no longer available to stay stuck in your love rut, I’d love to help you get out of this pattern and have your own version of an Eat, Pray, Love moment. Spots are limited, and they’re filled quickly.
If you’ve been thinking that I might help you get out of your patterns and truly transform your relationships (as I’ve done in my own life and in the lives of oh-so-many clients) and help you craft a life that serves you, just send me a DM or click the link in my bio for more info.
Music helped me attract my soulmate - read on
GREAT FULLNESS JOURNEY Day 15
Music is essential part of life, at least for me.
I cannot imagine life without music.
Music helps me:
🎵Change my energy
🎵Boost my mood
🎵Nourish my senses
🎵Dance like there is no tomorrow
🎵Reflect, study, work
🎵Cook juicy food
🎵Celebrate anything in life!
The song in the video marked couple of years of my life, it was one of our wedding dance songs and that is why I am so crazy about it every time I hear it. I think it will always be my uplifter!
I go wildly happy, like in this video when we celebrated our journey of becoming VITA methodology coaches together with @thelaylamartin at Palm Springs.
But - this is not the soulmate attraction 🎵song I was referring to.
Let me tell you more about it.
There was a particular time in my life when music helped me so much uplift my mindset. That was when I was a single mom, healing my broken heart and then going through conscious process of attracting my soulmate.
I didn’t know how long would it take until he comes into my life and that didn’t matter, because my job was to enjoy my life to my best ability and trust the Universe. So besides having the right music, enjoying your life fully is a key in this delicate process.
And there was this ONE SONG I had on repeat and listened to every single morning for many many months. It’s my soulmate attraction song. If you want to have it, dm me and I will send you a YouTube link. 😉 No questions asked.
I remember once hearing that the love we feel is a reflection of the love we express. It really stuck with me. It meant that my capacity to feel love wasn’t out there attached to some guy, but rather within me ✨
. There’s something beautiful about being an intimate relationship with someone that can allow us to experience so much love being mirrored back to us. But it’s not limited to that relationship dynamic. We can feel it from our friends, our family, our pets…
Who’s someone you can mirror your love back to you today? (That sounds like a riddle, haha) 👩❤️💋👩
Comment or tag them in the comments below ☺️😘
"A Noël, je n'ai pas plus envie de rose que je ne voudrais de neige au printemps. J'aime chaque saison pour ce qu'elle apporte." ~ William Shakespeare 😁🙏❣
2 2412 hours ago
Qu’il est bon de penser à son bien-aimé ou à celui qui sera peut-être un jour ton amoureux🥰. Tu peux inventer, créer, imaginer de tendres moments avec lui. Lorsque tu émanes cette qualité d’amour et de création avec le cœur, l’autre le reçoit aussi car le monde n’est qu’unité. Tout est lié et connecté chère Vénus ❤️.
How Your Self Care Can Attract Your Soulmate⠀
So if you’re a woman who’s running a lot of masculine energy, it is crucial for you to have a regular routine that taps into your divine feminine and allow yourself to be taken care of.⠀
Because we women are the natural caretaker and nurturers of the world, you’ve got to balance that out or you’re going to feel depleted and you’re not going to have any energy left to do anything that you want to do – or even to function in your life and in your work and your career.⠀
Another IMPORTANT aspect of this: men are starved to be around a feminine woman.⠀
Which is WHY you need to be able to access your femininity. It’’s just so deliciously attractive to men – and you need to exude you're capable of this on dates and in a relationship.⠀
So I know that one of the biggest reasons women don’t have enough self-care in their life is because they have a belief that self-care is an expense. They view it like it’s just money that goes out of your bank account and you don’t really have anything to show for it.⠀
TRUTH: self-care is not an expense, it is an investment in YOU and your well-being.⠀
It’s interesting to observe as I’ve steadily increased my self-care over the years – I can’t tell you how many times the exact amount I just spent for a massage or getting my hair done or whatever I was getting done – that exact same amount magically showed up in my bank account – often right down to the dime.⠀
And I know it gets replaced that quickly because the universe LOVES when you honor and take care of yourself – you get rewarded either in the form of money or in some other way pretty much right away.⠀
5 5813 hours ago
A simple way to improve your overall connection with someone is by improving your ability to be present and listen to them.
🛠Try listening with the intention of summarizing the other person’s point of view. This stops you from getting distracted and prevents you from using your mental energy to work out your reply.
🛠Check your body language. Turn your body to face the person, look at them, make eye contact (frequently not constantly), don't be distracted, put away your phone, don’t fidget or shift around demonstrating impatience.
This applies all the time, I've even found it effective in large groups.
Photo: @pinterest - if anyone knows the source please lmk so I can credit :)
Y’all ready for 2020? The only thing I’d add to this list is being even more financially responsible. I know I’m checking every box on this list. If you haven’t already built your plan for 2020, what better day than today to get it started. Let’s GO!!! .
Happy Sunday! Don’t forget to say it back 😁!!!
I know I have been quiet on Instagram (perhaps pretty loud in my IG stories😂),
but a lot has been going on in bts.
I have been working with someone (I'm pretty sure she is Godsent❤) help me with complete rebranding, revamp on my website,
and I’ve been recording modules, creating workbooks and ebooks, have photos taken, etc.
New freebies, masterclasses, courses will be released in January onwards.
Things that will help you with your confidence👑, finances💲, and will make you the most favoured person you know🌻❤
Even though it may not be visible,
I am thinking of you every day❤
Y'know how there's this trope of the alpha-male-player-dude, who goes around fucking women just so he gets to feel confident, powerful, strong, sexy, what-have-you?
Well...I hate to blow our cover, ladies, but...um...we do that too. (Perhaps just in different ways.🤔)
Sometimes we encounter someone, become obsessed with how yummy-high-good we feel in their presence, and demand to be continuously chosen by them, just so we can keep feeling that way.
PICK ME / CHOOSE ME / LOVE ME SO I GET TO (FINALLY) FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF, PLEASE.
These relationships are like oxygen tanks for our own flagging self-worth, self-esteem, all the self-stuff. 😔 We pull the O2 mask on and plug right into them. Mmm yes -- there's safety here. Security. Ease. Comfort. Confidence. I like how you make me feel, dude. So please keep being my supply of all-the-good-feels.
We'll often plug ourselves into people we believe to be special, significant, or "out of our league" in some way. Not because we actually adore THEM, but because if we are chosen by someone we see as special or significant, then we get to feel special and significant, too.
We don't know how to feel whole, confident, powerful, or sexy on our own (which isn’t our fault, necessarily), so we sub-contract that onto others. And inevitably, if/when the relationship dissolves or changes shape, we're left feeling so so so empty.
So can he just come back? So we can escape this icky, empty feeling? Let me plug back into you, dude.🙏🏻
I'm just suggesting this: Maybe you don't actually miss him. Maybe you just miss the good feelings that being around him gave you. (This is a subtle but important difference. Take a moment to feel into it.)
Maybe you accidentally made him your supply for all the good stuff, and now your supply has been taken away.
Maybe you're just going through withdrawal. And maybe you need to learn to accurately name that, because WITHDRAWAL IS NOT LOVE.💔
It's time to be your own supply. And to stop outsourcing your well-being, your wholeness, all-the-good-feels onto other people. Because you can, and your future partner, your ideal relationship, will require it. (And thank you for it.)
206 2,95211 December, 2019
Ayez le courage de prendre des décisions POUR VOUS !