It has taken me a really long time and a lot of hard work to learn my value! It's been hard for me to give myself grace! I naturally give everyone else all the grace, but not myself.
Becoming a mother made this even more challenging because I constantly felt like I was failing at everything! Then I realized that my value is not in what I can accomplish or my "strengths", but rather in WHO I was created to be! God's strength is always made known in our weakness when we learn to surrender and trust!
You see, I had to learn that it's not about being strong or achieving anything! It's about surrending and trusting His plans. Is this easy? No, but that's why we surround ourselves with people who will speak life and truth to us. That's why we fill our minds with what is good and true!
Took a selfie tonight because I liked my shirt. I was slightly concerned about the size of my forehead so I promptly sent the photo to my friend/hairstylist @hair_by_dnyse asking:
1. “What’s up with my hairline?”...and...
2. “Should I get bangs??” She barely had time for my silly self criticism but assured me that I am:
1. “Gorgeous no matter what!”...and that...
2. “Bangs are making a comeback!” <—The photo says it all, but the point is:
1. My forehead is of normal size
2. Bangs are a commitment and I should sleep on the decision for at least three months
3. I am proud of the life I have lived and I am proud to wear that life in the lines on my face that come from laughing with friends and the extra curves that come from enjoying life’s bounty. .
I could filter away my imperfections, but then it wouldn’t be me. Also, who really cares?
**Full disclosure, I had @cnb684 photoshop away the second chin in my recent headshot. So fucking sue me.** #doasisaynotasido#perfectlyimperfect#goodskinbadchins
I saw a gorgeous, talented dancer rehearse tonight. She’s SO good. Just captivating! And she had a tiny little wobble for a moment in her step and I thought, oh thank you. Thank you for letting me see with all the talent and all the hard work and practice, there will be wobbles.
Where’s the story in perfection? There really isn’t one. It’s very hard to connect with perfection because as we’ve all figured out, no one really has it.
It’s the flaws and the goofs and the stumbles that bring us in. Those authentic moments of being an actual human work in progress.
“Work on being in love with the person in the mirror, who has been through so much and is still standing” Every single day I look in the mirror I see someone different staring back at me. Sometimes I see a strong beautiful woman who can weather any storm. Other times I see a tired mom wondering if she is doing a good job. Sometimes I see a trailblazer creating new paths. Other times I see a broken and lonely person just trying to find my way. I am all of those things. I have so many great days and I have my shitty ones too. I work every single day to be a better version of myself then I was the day before but I don’t always succeed. You know what it’s all ok! We aren’t meant to be perfect, I mean come on how boring would that be. We are meant to be perfectly imperfect. Struggles make us stronger. Every sad and broken moment in my life made me the woman I am today. And I am so proud of her. She is strong, beautiful, broken, unsure and perfectly imperfect. Ladies love the whole, beautiful imperfect package you are! Cause let me tell you what, it’s pretty damn amazing!❤️ #selflove#womenwhosupportwomen#womenempowerment#perfectlyimperfect
1 719 September, 2019
You got it?
Don’t worry, you are SO not alone.
That little gremlin that likes to creep up
and wedge its way in
at the most inconvenient times...
like right before you're
going into a meeting
with big ideas you want to share,
but the gremlin tells you
no one's going to care,
or worse yet,
they'll think whatever
you have to say is dumb.
Or when your boss or a client asks
you a question to which
you don't know the answer,
and the gremlin tells you
that if you don't know
everything about everything,
then you pretty much know nothing.
Or when you're working
on a new side hustle
and that gremlin tells
you that you're delusional
and don't really have what it takes,
so you may as well not even bother.
Or when you're about to
put yourself out there in a big
and vulnerable way
and it tells you you'd better not
because you're sure to fail,
and that will confirm the belief
you've been trying hard to push
out of your mind all along-
the one that says you really are
a failure and are deluding
yourself into thinking otherwise.
Yeah that one.
But here's the thing.
Self-doubt is always going to be
something that shows up
in our lives in some way
shape or form -
especially when we're
about to take a risk and
make ourselves vulnerable.
And the good news is,
we can flip the script
on this bad boy
when it does show up
by not beating ourselves up
and feeding into it's lies,
and instead talking back to it
with helpful, loving
and more accurate and responsible words.
Want to give it a try?
What does your self-doubt like to try and get you to believe?
Self-doubt is one of the big 4 (including worry, fear and anxiety) that we're going to be taking head on, and doing a 180 with over 90 days in my Breakthrough Coaching Program. Registration is opening next week. Get on the wait list so you can know right away when enrollment opens. The link is in my profile.
7 10019 September, 2019
FAMIVERSARY. Look it up. It’s a thing. A few years ago we all decided to get together and be family mostly because we are better together. It’s some HARD WORK full of ridiculous moments and a fair amount of FUN. Every day is a gift for which I am grateful. Our #intentionalfamily work is rarely easy but it’s always worth it. There are no people I would rather do life and family with. It isn’t perfect but...but it IS what we make it together every single day. Love you guys. #family#perfectlyimperfect#tbt#summerhike#yeswearegoingtowriteabookaboutallofit
3 1719 September, 2019
𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝, 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭.
This was our attempt at a cute kissing picture. The wind and my shirt did not cooperate. We quickly snapped just 2 and then continued on our way without even checking to see if they turned out.
When I finally did see it, I was a little bummed. But less time taking pictures meant more time just hanging out and talking with my family.
I almost didn't post this picture on my feed but realized I still really like it, even with all its imperfections.
Do I believe that it was possible to get a better picture if we took enough of them? YES!
𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭, 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐮𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭.
That day it was being present for my family. Today, that means posting a less than ideal picture as a means to share this thought.
A few less than perfect pictures is worth the time spent with family and a platform to share my message.
Perfectly Imperfect! We all are aren’t we :) .. Let us take this time to embrace ourselves just the way we are. There are miles to go, so much to do, but let’s take a breath and tell affirm that we are in a good place.
While we strive to become better versions of ourselves(again ourselves only!), let us start from a place of content today :) ... Have an amazing day ahead!
Mid week wiggle butts!
Goodness did we love the change in the weather today from the melting sun lately! It rained, lightly but it rained on my walk nearly the whole time out in Marin and the Petaluma crews stayed dry but they too definitely enjoyed the cooler weather for a change
2 3119 September, 2019
Do you ever find yourself thinking...."I'll be happy when...." but when that when comes; then you find yourself still looking ahead and thinking... Well... I'll be happen when..."
Research on happy people shows:
1. Spend time with Jesus... They slow down to appreciate life's little pleasures.
Happy people know how important it is to take in the moment. Take a deep breath and enjoy the day.
2. They exercise!l!! (UMMM...I've been telling you! )
Getting your body moving for as little as 15 minutes releases GABA enzymes into your brain according to Harvard Medical research. Happy people schedule exercise into their routine.
3.They are givers. They help others.
Research shows that spending money on others makes you happier than spending on yourself. Helping others gives you much more joy than the one you helped. I have found this in my line of work for sure!!
4. The surround themselves with positive people
Happy people are contagious. Be a light to others by the way you are confident and look for the good in others.
5. They stay positive
Bad things happen to everyone, including happy people. Instead of complaining about how things could have been, think about what you are grateful for.
6. Happy people get enough sleep
Happy people make sleep a priority. (sorry young moms, you will get to sleep sooner than you think!) 7. Of course, the top of the list of happy people, they know Jesus Christ as their savior. One of my top favorite verses is "The Joy of the Lord is my Strength!" Nehemiah 8:10
Which happy point do you struggle with the most??
5 1119 September, 2019
As I prepare to embark on the 2019-2020 season, my heart is filled with joy and gratitude for the ability to be able to share my artistry with you. For me, there is no greater love than being on the stage, giving my all and singing from my heart, and receiving your rapturous love. I am unwavering in my faith, acknowledge the calling in my life from the man upstairs, and know that it is HE who has provided this gift so that I may give it back.⠀
The 2019-2020 season is filled with an exciting return to my beloved LA Opera and Met Opera debuts with Lucerne Symphony and Dayton Opera, and bringing my recital Hold On: Freedom Is Coming to the MET Museum. Seeing your faces in the audience and after the show lights up my life. Thank you so much for your support and encouragement, and here's to a beautiful season with each of you in mind.⠀
⠀ @ljmusicsociety – festival debut⠀
Soloist for @markmorrisdance⠀
August 21 - 22, 2019⠀
⠀ @artmacao – MGM Residency – house debut⠀
First Male Voice in Paradise Interrupted⠀ @jenniferwenma Production⠀
August 23 - August 31, 2019⠀
Orfeo ed Eurydice – covering Orfeo⠀
Mark Morris Production⠀
October 20 - November 10, 2019⠀
⠀ @luzernersinfonieorchester – debut⠀
Messiah Alto Soloist & Recital⠀
Conductor: Jonathan Cohen⠀
Recital With Roger Vignoles at Piano⠀
December 12 & 15, 2019⠀
⠀ @laopera – role debut⠀
Eurydice – role of Orpheus’s Double⠀
February 1 - 23, 2020⠀
Premiere of Opera⠀
*Co-Production w/ @metopera for the 21-22 season⠀
⠀ @daytonopera – house debut⠀
Going For Baroque – Soloist⠀
Semi-Staged Production with @daytonballet⠀
April 24th & 26th, 2020⠀
Recital in conjunction with Art: Jacob Lawrence’s “Struggle Series”⠀
Grace Rainey Auditorium⠀
June 12, 2020 #gratefulheart#perfectlyimperfect#ilove2sing#operasingersofinstagram#joyrising#blackboyjoy#blackexcellence
Sometimes our emotions blind us to the beauty of who we are, and what we are capable of providing to the world around us. I know what it's like, but I see you.
What I see is beautiful, it's real, it's different and thats what makes you so magnificent.
If you woke up today feeling low, unworthy, undeserving and feel disconnected from your reflection I am here to remind you that you are a gift to this world. You are loved. You are light. You are fearless. I love you.
We wait to win the approval of others before we accept ourselves. We compare ourselves to others and strive to be better. You want to prove yourself worthy, but the truth is, no one else is at the line but you. Your rival is your reflection.
I know what it's like to be at war with yourself. I still find myself in this battle sometimes, but I realized that the only person who needed to accept me, my mental illness, and my truth was me.
I became my companion instead of my competitor.
I want this for you.
You are your own unique, beautiful being; no one compares to you.
Those of us who love too much, we are the ones that give ourselves away knowing the consequences. Knowing that we could have our heart ripped out, yet we still walk up to the line willingly and place our hearts there gently. And in my opinion, that’s bold. It’s not insane; it’s brave.
Those of us who love too much we aren’t scared, we don’t fear it, and maybe we should, but time and time again we still show up vulnerable awaiting to love again. That doesn’t make us unlovable; it makes us unforgettable.
What I've learned living with bipolar is that if someone is only willing to love the parts of you that cater to their beliefs about love, then show them the door. My emotions, whether extreme or not, are essential to who I am. It fuels my light as well as my darkness, and you’ve got to take both if you want me at all.
An excerpt from new blog post, The Truth About Those Who Love Too Much' LINK IN BIO thank you for all the love on it!
with tears i announce that this lil sweetie has headed back to her foster with @kittenkonnoisseur. we LOVE her so, so much. i’m crying my eyes out. with her GI issues and diarrhea, it was getting to be too much for us, and she wasn’t getting the care she needed. i know that she will get great care at Chez KK, but we will miss her so, so much. i can’t express how much i wish things were different, y’all. i really wish i had more time. but just know that she is getting the best care possible and she is happy and so incredibly loved. i’m sorry it didn’t work out. i love you guys❤️
On this journey living with bipolar, I became the person I trusted most in this world. It’s essential when you live with a mental illness.
The beautiful people we surround ourselves with can awaken us to our beauty and keep us from getting to that point, but the truth is, we are never too far from that edge. There will never be a day where I am entirely free from my chaos, and that is a part of my life I've learned to embrace.
The only person who has the power to save you is you.
When you take time to be alone and build a relationship with yourself again, you will realize that you are worth saving.