WHY ARE WOUND MATE CONNECTIONS SO HARD TO DETACH FROM?
This has been coming up a lot this week in my calls.
I am going to give you the Jamie Rea oversimplification (cause there will be other things I’m not speaking about in this post), which is what came through me on one of my calls.
It’s like you’re addicted to crack and you don’t know how to stop doing crack (yes this is how I talk on calls sometimes).
On a logical level, you know crack is bad for you but you can’t stop doing crack.
You know you shouldn’t be doing it but it makes you feel good temporarily and temporary pain relief is what you’re after.
Just as a wound mate connection, it satisfies this temporary feeling of validation and approval but leads to long-term stress, anxiety and feelings of unworthiness.
You may even stop doing crack, you delete your crack dealer’s number, but one way or another, crack ends up coming back into your life.
You wish you could stop doing crack but it’s really hard to stop doing crack.
You beat yourself up over it, experience shame you can’t quit, but it’s really hard to stop doing crack.
The thing about a wound mate connection, it feeds off your self-rejection.
It only functions ONE WAY: on account that you self-reject.
It lives in the dysfunctional ping pong match between their self-betrayal and your self-betrayal and you call it love.
It’s not love, it’s two people avoiding pain and using each other.
It’s two people doing crack together, getting high on the drug of wound amplification and saying they’re meant for each other.
What would happen if you stopped doing crack?
Would they love and accept you for not doing crack?
Would they be proud of you for giving up crack?
Or would they try and get you to start doing crack with them again?
Would they try to pry you off the straight and narrow and bring you down into the gutter with them?
Do they amplify your wholeness or do they try and destabilize your self-empowerment?
Do they see your strength to choose yourself as an attack on them or an act of love to yourself?
You’re only attracted to them when you don’t feel good about yourself.
What is success to me?
Knowing I’m smart as fuck but also knowing I’m dumb as balls.
I’m so fucking capable but I’m also a fucking nightmare and a disaster.
I am a brilliant piece of art but I am also a fucking train wreck.
I am a sculpture but I am also a pile of shitty clay that I a 5 year old just shat on.
I am something to be inspired by and marvelled at but I am also something to look at in pure and utter fucking disgust.
I am great but I also suck so much fucking ass.
I am intelligent but I am also a fucking idiot.
I have arrived in so many ways but I am a work in progress in way more ways.
I am a courageous hero but I am a fear stricken little panzy nut bag at the same time.
I have so much to offer but I have so much I need to learn.
I know so much but I know absolutely fucking squat about poop all.
I have grown in so many ways but there are so many more ways I have yet to grow.
Success to me is the duality between believing deep in your heart you are so fucking capable and talented and brilliant but also you know dick fucking all at the same time.
Enough ego to believe your dreams are possible but not too much ego you never stray from your heart.
The duality between being a fearless leader and forever a humble student.
I have some answers but I don’t have most answers.
I have evolved but I will never be evolved.
I am a mature adult but I am also a whiny little immature child who needs to shut the fuck up.
To me, this is where success lives. The space between embracing your strengths and embracing your flaws. Welcoming in the good days and the bad days. Living in the sun but dancing in the rain.
I have so much confidence in myself but I am also super fucking scared. I am really secure but I am also really insecure and I just need someone to hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay. I am proud of myself but I still can be really hard on myself. I am grateful but there are times I live ungratefully.
I believe in my dreams but there are days where I wonder if they will actually ever come true. I believe in myself but I still struggle with self-doubt.
I am a coach who guides people but I still feel lost.
If you missed my Q&A video yesterday then you missed when I dropped this gem! 💎 Who you partner with in life matters! Whether its friendships or relationships, if you partner with someone who was not God sent, don't be surprised when you find yourself doing things that are not godly. Bad company can corrupt good character so be careful who you let get close to you.
You know that awesome feeling when you receive a sweet, loving text out of the blue from your partner? One where they tell you how much the love you, miss you, appreciate you, how proud they are of you, etc. I bet you can think of some of your favorite messages now, and I bet you can't stop smiling! 😍⠀
Now it's time to return the favor! Stop what you're doing (aka reading this hehe), pull up your messages, and text one sweet thing to your parter! Not only will this make them ecstatic, but you will feel amazing knowing how happy you just made them ❤️✨
KITA CENDERUNG KESEPIAN 😥😥
Pernah dengar lagu Maudy Ayunda yang liriknya begini...
'Jakarta ramai... Hatiku sepi...' Jadi tulisan ini bukan berarti aku sedang di Jakarta ya (meskipun kangen berat sama sohib-sohibku di sana). Ini tulisan base on fakta bahwa kita warga milennial memang cenderung kesepian. Apa sebab? Yuk, baca tulisanku tentang perasan hampa dan kesepian (link on bio). Aku menuliskannya senada apa yang dirasa (tsaaah), bosen merasa hampa, jengah merasa baperan, udah waktunya menjadi lebih baik.
Looooh apa hubungannya? .
Makanya baca deh, komen juga ya di blog atau di sini biar kita bisa bercengkrama bahwa kamu tidak sendiri
Btw... Itu bukan perempuan kerokan ya, gengs! 😎 #blogger#blogisupdated#writing#kesepian#loneliness#positivevibes#pikiranpositif#motivasiblogger#relationshipblogger
5 1018 October, 2019
Home is where your story begins.
Today on the blog // I’m chatting about starting family traditions as newlyweds and the value in having rituals.⠀
What are traditions that you’ve started with your significant other?
On this podcast, Julia and I talk about how and where we find girls to share our bed. We tell stories, discuss Tinder, power dynamics with the other girl, the characteristics we look for, finding people who are clean, how to turn someone down when you don't want to sleep with them, and more.
Hey loves! Here's the final part of my Q&A video. This was both fun, entertaining and actually made me a little vulnerable to you all so I hope you all were able to learn some things and that you enjoyed. Though yall challenged me, I will definitely be doing another one again!😘
1) How is your celibacy journey going? (0.9)
2) Why are women so confusing? (2:22)
3) What would a man have to do besides love Jesus and have a relationship with Jesus for you to even look his way to have the ability to take you out? What is the criteria? (3:00)
4) I’ve been single all my life and at age 32 I am still a virgin. Help. I’ve never dated at all. (4:40) #RelationshipTEAwithLady_V
💎Who is Imam Hussein?
💓who is this hussain whom the whole world is crazy about?!
⚔️What has happened so massive on Ashura in Karbala?
📣O people of the world know that I am the imam al-Qَaem 📣O people of the world know that I am the sword that takes revenge 📣O people of the world know that my grandfather Hussain was martyred while he was thirsty 📣O people of the world indeed I am the son of Hussain whose Holy body was left on the soil while it was uncovered 📣O people of the world indeed my grandfather Hussain was trampled out of spite
Imam Hussain was Prophet Muhammad 's grandson. After 50 years of Prophet Muhammad's demise, (in time of Imam Hussain), Yazid was the ruler. A cruel corrupted man who knew nothing about Islam and intended to establish a monarchy under the name of Islam. he asked for Imam Hussain's oath of allegiance in order to obtain reputation in society. Imam Hussain refused to do so in order to save the society from a cruel monarch. Therefore Yazid equipped his army to kill Hussain and his family . Yazid's army besieged Hussain and his family members in Karbala desert in Iraq .The army didn't let them drink water for 3 days. But Hussain, his beloved brother Abbas and his companions didn't surrender and kept fighting while they were thirsty. They were all martyred but their resistance disclosed the real face of Yazid and defeated him finally. We still mourn and commemorate them after 1400 years. because Imam Hussain and his 72 companions were brave men who fought evil for justice .Brave men belong to all times and all ages. May God bless them
JOY A Feeling Of Great Pleasure And Happiness, Delight, Elation, Bliss; I’m Here To Say, It Is Possible To Build A Marriage That Is Infused With JOY ☺️😁❤️💫
As I Was Scrolling Through My Phone Gallery This Morning 📱, Looking Over Past Videos Of Marv And I, I Realised That There Was A Common Theme. We Make Having Fun Together A Part Of Our Relationship, So Thought I’ll Just Share A Few Moments Of Our Playfulness 😅🕺🏾💃🏽. It’s A Shame That A Large Portion Of The Conversations I Have With People, Reveal That Their Idea Of Marriage Is Built On The Stigma That Marriage Is Hard, Unappealing And Not Fun. The Image That Has Been Portrayed To Many Highlights An Unbalanced Depiction Of Marriage That Is More So Focused On The Negative. I’ve Heard The Words, “Bound”, “Horror Stories”, “End Of Life”, “Boring”, “Hard Work” 🤦🏽♀️
The Narrative Of Marriage Is Sometimes Built On The Hardship Of Union, The Struggles We Go Through & The Work That It Takes. All Of Which Are True And Is A Realistic Part Of Two Imperfect Individuals Coming Together. I Agree That These Are Conversations That Need To Be Had As There Are Lessons To Be Learnt. However, Not At The Expense Of Not Showing That Marriage Is Still BEAUTIFUL, ENJOYABLE & REWARDING! 🙌🏽💑
I’m Puzzled Sometimes At The Sheer Surprise In People’s Tone When They Remark “You Make Marriage Look Enjoyable 😧” As Though The Idea That ‘Marriage Can Be Fun’ Is A Foreign Concept. “MARRIAGE IS HARD 😖” The Narrative Of Marriage I’ve Heard For Years, And Which Many Have Become Accustomed To, But I Beg To Differ. I Don’t Confess Or Walk Around Saying Marriage Isn’t HARD, I Just Don’t Buy Into That Narrative. IT JUST TAKES WORK! Like Every Other Thing In Life That Is IMPORTANT Or VALUABLE To You 💙. That’s The Mindset I Choose To Operate By 🧠
Why Is It That The Best Of Athletes And Gym Fanatics Make The Hardest Of Exercises Look Fun And Easy❓⛹️♂️🏋️♂️ Because They Don’t See It As Hard They See It As WORK But ATTAINABLE And That Doesn’t Mean That There Cannot Be An Underlying Current Of Fun, Laughter Or Enjoyment.
Marriage Takes WORK, But It’s Still FUN! The Two Can Coexist ✨ #MarriageMondays
#Repost@prince_ea with @get_repost
DROP THREE ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ IF THIS MAKES YOUR HEART MELT!⠀
The purity and innocence of this moment is EVERYTHING. No judgement, no reservations and no fears. Just two little humans excited to see each other and spend time together. ⠀
THIS IS PURE LOVE. ⠀
I can watch and listen to this a million times. 😊
Life is short. Don't live it in regret. If you love someone then tell them. If you care, show them. Drop the ego. Life is too short to be anything other than happy. #Repost@prince_ea with @get_repost
TAG SOMEONE YOU LOVE 👇🏽 RIGHT NOW
This video made me tear up . The love, the compassion, and the sincerity felt all over this video is incredible.
It's crazy how the closeness and realness of death puts everything into perspective. We gotta stop putting things off in life. Let go of your grudges man.
If you love and care about someone make it known ❤️ #inspirationbykumar